When my son was about a week and a half to two weeks I woke up to my incision oozing, red, puffy and painful. I was thinking the worst. I thought that I was going to have to go back into the hospital and that I wasn't going to be able to continue to breastfeed.
I was given more pain medicine, antibiotics, and had to be wicked twice a day. Wicking is basically stuffing the infected pocket with a gauze string to try to get it to drain. I had to do this for around 2-3 weeks. I felt so trapped. As long as I was on pain medicine I shouldn't be getting out and about. This made it imposible for me to get breastfeeding help.
My son started to reject the breast all together around 3 weeks. He would just cry and cry. I was getting tense and didn't know what to do. I wasn't getting all of the help I needed at home to make it work. I would try to pump as much as I could. But I had a crying baby to calm and pumping just couldn't happen. I was able to pump 3-4 times a day. I would finger feed my son everything I could and the rest was formula.
By four weeks he wouldn't get anywhere near my bare breast. So I gave up and gave him what I could in a bottle. I asked for help at the doctors office when I went to get my incision checked. I was told to just pump more.
So for a week more I watch my supply go to NOTHING...not even a drop. I cried so much. I felt like I had failed to give my son what he needed. I wanted to be the best mother ever and I felt like I was in line for the worst mother award. I had switched to formula. It has its place I just didn't think it was for me.
Ever since my supply went to nothing I was thinking of ways that I could correct my error. I was looking in to milk banks and such. It wasn't until I was back to work full time that I thought what about adoptive mothers. They are able to lactate, so why can't I re-lactate...
1 comment:
I had no idea you had gone through such a hellish experience at the time. You did an awesome job of continuing to provide for Kenneth, especially considering the obstacles thrown your way and the lack of support you had. I'm so so glad you've decided to give relactation a go. I know how badly you want it. Kenneth is so lucky to have you as his mother.
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