I am completely crushed right now! In one day I went from thinking that I was finally going to get my home water birth to despising my insurance that has never let me down until this year!
I talked with my husband more about a home birth. He has never been serious about the talk until today. So I never knew how he really felt about it due to all of the jokes. Today he told me as long as it is safe, he is all for it. That he could do without sleeping in the hospital chairs. I of course let it all go to my head. I was planning everything out. Trying to think what room would be best to birth in. My mind was going wild with the possibilities. This is something that I have always dreamed of and never thought would happen due to support.
I was celebrating too soon though. The only way we could swing it is if insurance would cover most of it. For a hospital birth, I only need to pay $300 and insurance will cover everything else. And you want to know what they will cover for a home birth... NOTHING! I have been crying for the last hour because of wonderful Southern Health.
Thanks for crushing my dreams!
I need to move on though and try to stay positive. I need to make the best of what I do have. Can I just win a small Virginia lotto :/
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
The Business of Being Born
I loved this documentary! I really wish that I had watched it before I had Kenneth. It has really opened my eyes. It really reaffirmed what I thought about intervention. And just in case "someone" isn't the only one that doesn't know what I mean by intervention, I will explain. Intervention, in terms of child birth, is anything that is not involved with natural child birth. They can be as slight as continuous fetal heartbeat monitoring. This was the first thing they hooked up to me with Kenneth. Hooking up the IV and/or hep lock. In my case I had an IV in one arm and a hep lock in the other. This makes it easier for the doctors and nurses to give you anything they please. Breaking your water so that they can attach an internal monitor to your baby. Then their are drugs used to induce, such as pitocin. This drug makes your contractions longer and stronger. Pain killers that can be given through an IV. It is already there and so it makes it so easy for you to say yes when asked. An epidural or spinal plug that is there to lessen the pain you feel from the waist down. And then the most invasive intervention, a cesarean section. These are just the ones that were used in my case, there are others.
Now don't get me wrong, I think there is a place for all of this. I do think there are some really great OBGYNs out there. I just think that there is a lack of understanding of how things should work for birth. A woman's body was made to withstand childbirth. We need to trust in our body. Know that our body will work with our baby. Know that the best and safest way to deliver a baby is vaginally. But also know that there is a small fraction that does need a section when things don't work the way they should. And we shouldn't feel like we failed no matter what. All we can do it provide the most comfortable birthing environment that we can and make informed choices about our birth to insure a safe mom and baby.
I don't think a home birth will work out for us. I still want to talk with the midwives that I would like to use if we change our mind. I want to know that I have options. I am not sure I would feel comfortable at home for many reasons. I don't think I would get all the support I am going to need to have the birth experience my baby and I deserve.
And an update on my doula search and a more understanding hospital and OBGYN. The only midwife that I can find that is covered by insurance is booked solid. So I am going after the OBGYN she works with. My doula (YES, I got the one I really wanted) is urging me to make sure I go with someone that I will be comfortable with and has similar beliefs about birth. Right now I am at an OBGYN practice. I think there is at least one of them that sees eye to eye with me. But I don't know for sure that he would be the one in the hospital. Also, I just don't feel warm and fuzzy about the hospital I delivered Kenneth at. And yes, I work there in a non-medical way. It is one of the reasons why I went with them. I also picked them since they have a NICU. If I go with the other hospital and NICU is needed, the baby will be transfered without me. But everything else told me to go with the other hospital. So I am going with my gut. And these hospitals are right down the street from each other. Therefore I still feel like the baby is safe no matter what happens. I am waiting for a call back to hopefully be set up as a new patient with Dr. W. I am so excited. I am feeling so optimistic about this right now.
An update on my to do list (that has changed some):
DONE:
1. Started my stash of cloth diapers for this new little one. Well...I have worked out trades and they are being worked on with a little help!
2. Find a doula. I am super excited about this. We still need to iron things out, but my spot is reserved.
3. Watched The Business of Being Born. Wish I had listened to my friends and watched this before Kenneth.
4. I did find out about the LLL meetings. I haven't been able to attend them yet due to weather and being sick. I will get there though!
5. I have picked out a few books I want to read. I just need to make it happen now.
6. I am signed up for the child birth class offered by my doula. They start next Wednesday and there are 6 of them. I just hope my husband is going to be able to make them all. He said he will try to make the first one. I hope to bring his mother along when he can't make it.
NEED TO DO:
1. I need to get an appointment with Dr. W. Please let him take me on as a new patient!
2. Read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth...again.
3. Read Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. Maybe come up with a short version for my husband. I have ordered the book and should have it on Friday!
4. Read The Silent Knife. I have been meaning to for a while now.
5. Read The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. It has been on the top of my list for a while.
6. Set up a meeting with the midwives.
7. Set up a meeting with my doula once I have talked with Dr. W or the midwives.
8. Set up a tour of the new hospital.
9. There are a few breastfeeding books that I want to read for the first time and again as well. I really want to make this work!
And now I must go find something to eat that is more nutritious than Easter candy!
Now don't get me wrong, I think there is a place for all of this. I do think there are some really great OBGYNs out there. I just think that there is a lack of understanding of how things should work for birth. A woman's body was made to withstand childbirth. We need to trust in our body. Know that our body will work with our baby. Know that the best and safest way to deliver a baby is vaginally. But also know that there is a small fraction that does need a section when things don't work the way they should. And we shouldn't feel like we failed no matter what. All we can do it provide the most comfortable birthing environment that we can and make informed choices about our birth to insure a safe mom and baby.
I don't think a home birth will work out for us. I still want to talk with the midwives that I would like to use if we change our mind. I want to know that I have options. I am not sure I would feel comfortable at home for many reasons. I don't think I would get all the support I am going to need to have the birth experience my baby and I deserve.
And an update on my doula search and a more understanding hospital and OBGYN. The only midwife that I can find that is covered by insurance is booked solid. So I am going after the OBGYN she works with. My doula (YES, I got the one I really wanted) is urging me to make sure I go with someone that I will be comfortable with and has similar beliefs about birth. Right now I am at an OBGYN practice. I think there is at least one of them that sees eye to eye with me. But I don't know for sure that he would be the one in the hospital. Also, I just don't feel warm and fuzzy about the hospital I delivered Kenneth at. And yes, I work there in a non-medical way. It is one of the reasons why I went with them. I also picked them since they have a NICU. If I go with the other hospital and NICU is needed, the baby will be transfered without me. But everything else told me to go with the other hospital. So I am going with my gut. And these hospitals are right down the street from each other. Therefore I still feel like the baby is safe no matter what happens. I am waiting for a call back to hopefully be set up as a new patient with Dr. W. I am so excited. I am feeling so optimistic about this right now.
An update on my to do list (that has changed some):
DONE:
1. Started my stash of cloth diapers for this new little one. Well...I have worked out trades and they are being worked on with a little help!
2. Find a doula. I am super excited about this. We still need to iron things out, but my spot is reserved.
3. Watched The Business of Being Born. Wish I had listened to my friends and watched this before Kenneth.
4. I did find out about the LLL meetings. I haven't been able to attend them yet due to weather and being sick. I will get there though!
5. I have picked out a few books I want to read. I just need to make it happen now.
6. I am signed up for the child birth class offered by my doula. They start next Wednesday and there are 6 of them. I just hope my husband is going to be able to make them all. He said he will try to make the first one. I hope to bring his mother along when he can't make it.
NEED TO DO:
1. I need to get an appointment with Dr. W. Please let him take me on as a new patient!
2. Read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth...again.
3. Read Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. Maybe come up with a short version for my husband. I have ordered the book and should have it on Friday!
4. Read The Silent Knife. I have been meaning to for a while now.
5. Read The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. It has been on the top of my list for a while.
6. Set up a meeting with the midwives.
7. Set up a meeting with my doula once I have talked with Dr. W or the midwives.
8. Set up a tour of the new hospital.
9. There are a few breastfeeding books that I want to read for the first time and again as well. I really want to make this work!
And now I must go find something to eat that is more nutritious than Easter candy!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Is a home birth in our future?
I am now 17 weeks along. I have all kinds of questions going through my head. I really want to have a VBAC. I think a natural birth will also help with breastfeeding. I want as little intervention as possible. And the more I think about, the more I am not sure a hospital birth is right for me.
We are only about 5-10 minutes from the hospital if there is no traffic. I really wish there was a birth center here in Charlottesville. I believe there was at one time. So my only real options are home or hospital. If I am in the hospital, I want to make sure I have a doula I trust. I had the perfect one picked out. She is most likely full in September though. She is waiting on someone to get their contract in. I really hope they don't so that I can get her last spot. She seems wonderful. I will be starting in her child birth class next Wednesday. I believe it is going to be held at the midwife office that I am looking at if I do go with a home birth.
I really started to think hard about a home birth at my last OBGYN appointment last Wednesday. The doctor I was seeing that time is the same one that I saw after my section. And as soon as he walked in my heart started to race and not in a good way. It really made me freak out. It brought back bad memories of what happened with Kenneth. He was born healthy and I am so thankful for that. I just wish that everyone, including myself, had trusted my body a little more.
The only thing that is holding me back is money. A hospital birth will cost me $300. If I get the doula I want, it will be another $500. A home birth will cost me at least $3000. I don't think my insurance will cover any of it. So I might try to sell off some of the things we have in the house to fund this. A little Spring cleaning!
I still really need to talk it over with my husband and see where we stand. I think our family will be against it all the way. And so I am just worried. I just want things to work out for the best. And I just don't know what is best right now.
We are only about 5-10 minutes from the hospital if there is no traffic. I really wish there was a birth center here in Charlottesville. I believe there was at one time. So my only real options are home or hospital. If I am in the hospital, I want to make sure I have a doula I trust. I had the perfect one picked out. She is most likely full in September though. She is waiting on someone to get their contract in. I really hope they don't so that I can get her last spot. She seems wonderful. I will be starting in her child birth class next Wednesday. I believe it is going to be held at the midwife office that I am looking at if I do go with a home birth.
I really started to think hard about a home birth at my last OBGYN appointment last Wednesday. The doctor I was seeing that time is the same one that I saw after my section. And as soon as he walked in my heart started to race and not in a good way. It really made me freak out. It brought back bad memories of what happened with Kenneth. He was born healthy and I am so thankful for that. I just wish that everyone, including myself, had trusted my body a little more.
The only thing that is holding me back is money. A hospital birth will cost me $300. If I get the doula I want, it will be another $500. A home birth will cost me at least $3000. I don't think my insurance will cover any of it. So I might try to sell off some of the things we have in the house to fund this. A little Spring cleaning!
I still really need to talk it over with my husband and see where we stand. I think our family will be against it all the way. And so I am just worried. I just want things to work out for the best. And I just don't know what is best right now.
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