Saturday, December 4, 2010

11 Weeks and Counting

Things are still going so well.  Sydney will start daycare on Monday.  Next week is our transition week.  I say it is for her, but I think it is more for me.  I am in total denial that I have to go back to work and she therefore needs to go to daycare.  I will use next week to make sure she is going to take to the bottle.  I have about 40 oz of milk in the freezer.  I am going to send her with two 3 oz bottles the first day since I do not plan to leave her there the whole day.  I also don't know how much she is going to eat or how often.  Everything is so different with a bottle.  My son was already on bottles since he had a mix of formula and breast milk in a bottle.  So there were no worries.  I had it all down.  Now it is going to be new and I have no real clue how much I will pump while she is gone.

My real fear is that she is going to refuse the bottle.  She has been real up and down about taking it.  She will scream her head off to the point of exhaustion at times and still not take the bottle.  Other times it is no problem.  I just wish I could get a doctors note to say I have to stay at home with her until she is a year old.  At that point it is ok to try to introduce cows milk.  Plus, I am hopeful that she will take to whole foods better than he brother did/does.  He still tries to make milk his main source of food.  It hasn't been breast milk in almost a year now. 

And after all the work I did, he said he wanted to try some at almost the age of three. Why couldn't he have thought of that soon after he was born.  Then I most likely would be nursing him and his sister still.  Oh the pictures would have been so cute!  I just changed the subject.  It just didn't feel right.  I did consider it though.

I am still thinking this time around that I have a forceful let down.  I might have a bit of an over supply too.  I wake her to eat sometimes to get some relief.  Things might still be regulating though.  I will see what happens after I am back at work for a while.  If I pump more than she needs, I will save it until she is close to a year.  I want to make sure she has more than enough until she is one in case something were to happen to me.  At that point I will donate if she doesn't need it.

This brings me to Eats On Feets.  This is a wonderful program for mothers with over supply to be able to help mothers with under or no supply.  No there is no screening or testing and there are risks.  Thing is, there are risks with formula too.  Babies have died from formula.  Find me one story where a baby has died from breast milk!  It is a really great way to help local moms if you have more than you need.  I have the link for Virginia as well as the main link.  Find the one for your area and get help or give it :)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

7 Weeks and going strong

I have been meaning to post forever and give an update.  Long story short, things are going great.  I am tying one handed right now because my daughter is NURSING!  That is so nice to type.  A little hard to do, but I never got to with Kenneth.

This greatness does not come without worry.  When I first nursed her I was worried that she would have a lazy latch or one of many latch issues.  I worried as I got closer to the time that my supply dried up that it would happen again.  I worried that once we introduced the bottle that she would reject the breast.  I have made it past all of those, but there are more worries to come.

I am worried about going back to work in five weeks.  I am worried about how many bottles she will need.  How much should I put in each bottle?  Will she drink for them or wait and cluster feed while I am with her?  Will I be able to pump enough for her while at work?  Will I be able to build a stash for her over the next 5 weeks for her first day and to give her a bottle each week?

I just want her to self wean after a year and for us to keep this bond.  I would love it if we made it to two years.  I almost made it to that pumping for Kenneth.  Well, 7 weeks down...

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Sydney's Birth Story

I am going to type up everything to the best of my ability.  Some things are a little foggy at the three week mark.  I can say with certainty that I am sitting here at the lap top with my boppy around my waist and my beautiful daughter curled up to me milk drunk!

Sydney was due on September 14, 2010.  All the doctors appointments resulted in me being told that she was high, no effacement, and no dilation.  The week before her due date, I had contractions that would start as soon as I would get home from work and then would stop as soon as I was getting ready for work the next day.  I had told everyone that my last day of work would most likely be Friday the 17th.  I just couldn't take the comments at work anymore.  There were random people that would tell me that she would be here really soon.  And then there were haven't had that baby yet comments too!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010 ended up being my last day of work.  That night my contractions became so strong I couldn't do much of anything.  They were not consistent though.  They were anywhere from 1-45 minutes apart and 30-90 seconds long.  My next appointment with my OBGYN was on Thursday morning.  I went in expecting to have made all kinds of progress.  As it turns out I was just 1 cm dilated at my Thursday morning appointment. 

All day Thursday and Friday I continued to have very intense contractions.  They were 1-15 minutes apart and at least 45 seconds long.  The majority were closer to 2 minutes long.  There was some bloody show and I was loosing my plug.  I tried to do a few last minute things to get ready for her to come.  Most of Wednesday night and all of Thursday night I had to sleep alone in the baby room.  It was just too hard to crawl out of bed between my son and husband.  I called my doula  to let her know where things stood.  She told me that she had another client that was at the same point as me and that she did have a back up.  I told her that it was fine.

From 10:30 PM until 12 AM my contractions were consistently 5 minutes apart.  So I went up to bed in hopes that I could get a little rest before needing to go to the hospital.  It was so hard to get around on my own.  I just wanted to stay on the toilet.  So that is where I went as soon as I got upstairs.  And that is when the contractions picked up.  They were a minute or less apart.  It was to the point where I couldn't tell where one ended and the next began.  So I was trapped in the bathroom for at least 30 minutes before I could make it to the phone to call mt husband.  Yelling for him was not an option since he was in the basement.

Just before 1 AM we got the call back from my OB.  He told us to head to head to the hospital.  I didn't even think to call my doula.  Plus, if it was a back-up, I didn't want someone new in addition to the nurses.  I also thought things were going to go really fast.  So it seemed pointless and I didn't give it a second thought.

We got to the hospital some time after 1 AM.  I thought I was going to throw up.  I hated the car ride.  The main road was under construction.  So it was a bumpy ride!  They got me in a wheel chair and up to the fourth floor so fast.  I felt like it was a race.  They checked me when I got up there and I was in the 2-3 cm range.  When Dr. W got there he checked me and he talked to me about breaking my water.  It was so nice to be able to talk about it and be ASKED if that was what I wanted.  Since the contractions were still intense and had slowed down, we went ahead and broke my water to try to keep things going in the right direction.  They also started the IV at this point since I was a VBAC hopeful.

I had intended to go through this birth with no drugs.  Around 5 AM I asked for pain meds.  I took 3 doses and they didn't work for me at that point.  I was in the 5 cm dilated range at that point.  The nurse worked with me all morning on the ball and in different positions.  I did not want to bounce on the ball at all.  That created killer contractions for me.

I lasted until about 11 AM before I asked for the epidural.  I wasn't relaxing and I needed something to help me relax or I wouldn't make anymore progress.  It wasn't as bad as I thought to get the epidural.  There was one small area on my right where it didn't work.  And my left side was totally numb.  My arms were just fine though.  I was in such a good mood at that point and was able to relax and get some sleep.  When I woke up I was in the 8-9 cm dilated range.  She made it to -1.  I believe I was close to 100% effaced.  This was around 1 PM.  He talked to me about starting pitocin.  My contractions were not as strong and consistent as they needed to be for me to get a baby out.  She was doing great her stats were beautiful.  So there were still things we could try.  They started the pitocin soon after 1 PM.  They kept increasing it since both Sydney and I were fine. 

I was still at 9 cm around 4 PM.  Dr. W said that I could try pushing and see if I make any progress since she didn't want to drop lower than -1.  She would while I push.  He said that the last little bit was floppy and not in the way.  He would let me try to push for 2 hours.  The nurse, my husband and I worked on pushing during ever contraction for a little over 2 hours.  We tried as many different positions as I could with the pitocin.  I made it to 10 cm except for one small lip on the right side.  But she still would not drop past -1.

We tried everything that we could.  I was running a fever and Sydney's stats we not as perfect as they could be.  She wouldn't drop and so a section was the only option.  I felt good about it this time.  All I wanted was a positive birth experience where I was asked what to do next and given time to talk things over before they were done.  So around 6 PM I told Dr. W lets do a section.  They gave me more meds and made sure I was numb again.

Saturday, September 18, 2010, Sydney Michelle was born at 6:31 PM via cesarean section.  She was 7 lbs. 8.5 ozs. and 21 inches long.  We found out why she wouldn't drop anymore.  The cord was around her neck THREE times!  She was just fine as soon as they took it off her.  She was perfect and didn't have any issues in the hospital.  I on the other hand had to go through all kinds of tests.  I will save that part of the story for later.

We have been exclusively breastfeeding on demand for 3 weeks now!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Full Moon on the 12th

Wohoo! I am now able to post from my iPod. It is the little things that make me happy. Another thing to make me happy is that it is a three day weekend and my birthday is on Monday, Labor Day. One of these days I am going to have to check and see if I was born on Labor Day. That would be amusing to me.

Had my appointment with Dr. W on Thursday. Sydney is still happy right where she is. So I am most likely in for a wait. And I am going to take advantage of it. I ordered and downloaded some hipnobabies mp3s. Two are for VBAC moms and one is for come out baby. I figure it can't hurt to try. They do relax you. I listened to one last night and relaxed so much I fell asleep!

This weekend I am going to be getting things all set up for her. We have the basics already. I just want to set up some more diaper change stations and get all her diapers ready. And I need to wash her wipes. All of her clothing is washed. There are still a few things on the way from great grandma. And the car seats are set up in my car. Now my husband needs to get his done!

I also wonder if the full moon will do anything for her or if she isn't a fan of tales like that.

And I have her coming home outfit. It is so cute! I am just worried that it might be too small for her. We will just have to see. I do have a backup outfit ready for her just in case. So things could get interesting! So all baby come soon vibes are welcome ;)

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Almost 38 weeks...WHAT?!?!?

It has been way too long since I have posted an update. And now for a little funny. I got on here to see when my last post was. I knew I had gotten as far as a title on one. Guess what the title was? "Almost 34 weeks! WHAT?!?!?!?" So yeah...I tried to stay on top of things and failed! I am in total sock at this point.

So what has been going on. I have been keeping my weight in check. I started this pregnancy with about 10 more pounds than I had at the start of Kenneth's pregnancy. The wonderful part is, I am still around 30 pounds away from my ending weight with Kenneth's pregnancy. The scary part is, I still have 2-3 weeks to keep this in check! And I still think it was the last few weeks with Kenneth that I gained all that weight. Granted, I saw that pregnancy as a free pass to eat whatever I wanted and as much as I wanted. I am at least a little wiser this time around. Granted, with the amount of food I consumed today you wouldn't think so. But I had two salads...and I will not speak of the rest ;)

What else, I had my 37 week check up with Dr. W on Thursday. Sydney is still up high, -3, and no effacement or dilation yet. She is head down though. So I started up the evening primrose oil last week and my husband is keeping up on his end of the deal so to speak! It will be interesting to see what, if any progress she has made in the last week. I need to start walking again. It is just that my pelvis tends to feel like it is going to rip apart if I walk too much. But I need to do it. And my strep (GBS?) test was negative! So no IV or anything for me! So excited about that. I gave him a very simple birth plan with three things on it. No IV or hep lock, no pit after birth, and no clamping/cutting of the cord until it stops pulsing. And he is just fine with all of that. Things are going to be so different!

And I met with my doula, M, last weekend. She went over more things with me. She is really great and I can't wait to have her there to help my husband and I through this. I just can't say enough about her and yet I am at a loss for words.

Hospital bag is more or less packed. I have a change of clothing for me, a change of clothing for Sydney (in case her outfit doesn't get here in time), some crackers, Gatorade, a pen, and a note book. I just don't feel like bringing a ton of crap. It is all in my husbands car already. We just have to remember the camera and maybe some flip flops for me.

All of Sydney's clothing has been washed. Most of her diapers have been washed. We have had dryer issues for a while. It turns out it is the duct that vents the dryer. We are going to get a new metal one on the 1st. So then I will be able to do laundry at home. We have been going over to the in-laws. It has been really nice though. I just wish I could go over there and spend some time without all the laundry for once.

And now I am getting to tired to think. I feel like there was so much more I wanted to say. I am really excited about this birth. I just need to trust in my body!

Monday, July 5, 2010


Life has been really busy. I haven't been able to do as many updates as I wanted to. I thought my blog needed a little face lift. I feel like the old one looked a little glum. And glum is not what I want to think about when thinking about breastfeeding and my plan for a VBAC! I feel refreshed and I hope that is what the colors will show!

Updates... We found out that we are going to have a GIRL! That really scares me. I was scared of a boy. And now that I have one, I feel like I know what I am doing. So now I have to figure everything out all over again. EEK! She is healthy and seems to be right on track. Only 10 weeks and 1 day until her due date. We plan to name her Sydney. I have always loved the name.

The doula referral I was given seems to be a perfect fit. Her and I seem to get along great and see eye to eye. She has been so helpful. She really knows how to reassure me and help me to trust my body. I look forward to working with her more as I get closer to 36 weeks.

It really feels like this pregnancy is going a little too fast. It seems like once you have one child, life is forever on fast forward. I just want to keep up and not miss a thing!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Hurt and Feeling Alone

I got an e-mail from the woman that was going to be my doula this Saturday. I didn't hop onto the computer until this morning. She informed me that she has decided not to take on a second client her first month back after her child will be a few months old. She typically only takes 3 clients a month. She was going to take 2 her first month back in September. Her and her husband think it would be better for her to take one, as of this weekend.

I am CRUSHED! It seems like I have to take one big hit to my birthing plans each month. I have until September. I don't think I can take any more hits like this. I feel like everything is falling apart and like I am out of control.

She offered to send me a list of doulas. I have already looked into everyone in the area. I told her to send me the list just in case. She was the only one I liked from the list. I am thinking that a doula is not going to happen for us this birth. I don't have the desire to look for another one right now. I just can't handle another rejection right now. Even though the longer I wait, the more likely there will not be any opening. I am 22 weeks along. What good doula isn't going to be filled right now anyway? That is the way I feel right now.

I also feel like I paid for the natural child birth class I am in was for nothing. I have read the books. I know the information. I was only there to get to know her better so that I would feel better about her being my doula. There are still 2 classes left. I can't bring myself to go to them. I just can't do that to myself or my son. He cried every night I went to class. I can't take that for nothing.

My plan now is to make my husband be my birth coach. He has less than 20 weeks to be HELPFUL ;) on the day I give birth. He said he would learn whatever I wanted him to. I haven't talked to him on the phone yet. I know as soon as I say the words and hear them that I will cry. I almost went home sick so I could have a nice cry. That is how hurt I feel by this.

I didn't really say much to the woman that was going to be my doula. I don't want her to feel bad about doing what she thinks is best for her family. I just wish I had known about this back in March.