I kept being told that a lactation consultant was going to come and see me. I didn't meet the first one until around the 24 hour mark. She came into the room. Sat with me for a few minutes while I tried to get my son to latch well. She said that she was going to get me something that would help. She gets me a nipple shield. She shows me how to use it. She sits with me for another few minutes after my son latched on to plastic and then leaves.
So here I am trusting this woman. I keep asking everyone for help. My son's weight is going down and he doesn't want to latch. He will not take the breast without the shield and I am starting to feel like a failure. I didn't have the birth I wanted and now it is feeling like breastfeeding is doomed. I am still determined to make it work. I keep being told that the lactation consultant is going to come see me. I never saw her again! And I hope I never do!
I had nurses trying to help me. Each one telling me something different. At some point one of them got me a breast pump to use to help get my milk to come in since my son didn't want anything to do with my breasts. I could tell something was wrong and no one knew what to tell me. Bless the nurses hearts...but they didn't know enough to be able to help me.
My next to last night we caved and let them finger feed him formula. They were talking about keeping him longer due to him loosing weight. All I wanted to do was breastfeed my son at home. I didn't want to be in the hospital. All he would do is cry and he wouldn't take the breast. I felt like I had no other choice but to give him formula. He didn't cry anymore and I felt at the time that I did the right thing. I didn't know that I should just keep trying to feed him and deal with the crying. I am a first time mom and I felt so lost. I needed some real help and wasn't getting it!
On my last day in the hospital (my son's next to last) a second lactation consultant comes in. She is the one that lead the breastfeeding class I had taken. She is WONDERFUL! She came in there and got things going. We couldn't get away from the breast shield though. But she worked with me for at least and hour or two. I wish she had been working that weekend. I don't think I would be writing this blog if she had been there since day one.
We had to leave our son in the hospital. It killed me. I pumped all night long every 2-3 hours. The colostrum was changing...my milk was coming in! I didn't think I could have been happier at the time. I thought this was the answer to all my problems. I had milk and so I thought everything was going to be perfect.
We got to the hospital in the morning and got to spend time with our son and I got to breastfeed him a few times with the help of the lactation consultant. He was chugging away with the nipple shield. He was happy and doing so well. I once again thought that things were going to go so well. They weighed him and let him go home with us.
We had his one week check up and he was already over his birth weight in just a few days. The pediatrician says you must be the best breast feeder or you son is or both. I felt like I was doing the right thing and that things were going to go so well and that I would be able to do just fine with the shield.
Life was perfect...
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