I just made what I hope is my last order of Domperidone. My dosage had been all the way up to 4-10 mg tablets 4 times a day. I went up to that dosage slowly and weaned my way down slowly. I had been down to 5-10 tablets – 3 in the morning and 2 in the evening. Last week my supply plummeted when I got the stomach flu. So I am now back to 3-10 mg tablets 3 times a day. I fear that I am going to have to up the dosage even more.
Getting everything to be just right so that you have enough milk for your child is so hard. Most moms have no choice but to work. Most places of business are required by law to give nursing mothers a place to express milk. The place they give you is not always the greatest though. I started out in a dark room. YES, a place where they practice making copies of x-rays! How fun that was. After almost being exposed one too many times, I asked if they could find me another place to pump. My supervisor was wonderful! She was able to find me an unoccupied office to use. The door has been knocked on once. Other than that it has been smooth sailing.
Every day I struggle with pumping. I really hate it. I hate the whole process of cleaning and putting together all the parts. I really do not get why someone would choose to exclusively pump over breastfeeding. The only reason I continue is to make sure that my son gets the best possible start to life. I really wish that he would have gotten the hang of things so that I would only be pumping at work. There is always the next one!
My plan is to keep pumping until June 2009. That is when we plan to start trying to make Kenneth a little sister or brother. I have a feeling the only way I am going to start to ovulate again is by stopping the Motilium. Kenneth doesn’t seem to want anything to do with solids and a sippy cup. I really hope that changes before June. If it doesn’t, then we will push back trying to conceive again. I will stay a slave to my pump for as long as my son needs me to be.
In a little over 3 months I will have made it to the 1 year mark. I can’t believe how much time has gone by. I am so proud that I was able to get my supply back and not have to give him formula anymore. And with the way the economy is, formula is one less thing we have to worry about paying for. Now if we could only get day care to use cloth diapers…
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
This is sad to say...
I think I am going to have to give up on my dream to breastfeed Kenneth again. No matter what I try I am not able to get him to do anything but bite. I do not see this as the end of the road or as a failure. I was able to breastfeed him again and have the picture to prove it. I will keep that in my mind forever!
I have learned SO much and have been able to help others. My son and I have been able to bond in other ways. This was not all for nothing. I was able to get my full supply back. He has not needed formula in ages. He is happy and healthy!
I will continue to learn as much as I can. We plan to have at least one more child. So when baby #2 is born, I will keep down this road and learn from my mistakes. Things are going to be very different next time. In a way I am happy that this happened with Kenneth so that I did so much more research.
For the next one I will know the following:
~I can get help at home if I am not able to leave the house.
~No nipple shield unless my milk has come in AND nothing else is working.
~No finger feeding. I can supplement what I pump at the breast.
~SKIN-TO-SKIN all the time!
~Let the baby root and initiate the first feeding.
~Call the lactation consultant in as much as possible.
~Let the baby feed as often as he or she wants and for as long as he or she wants.
~Make sure the latch is correct.
~LLL meetings are a must.
I am sure I will come up with more to add. So this is not the end of the blog. I will continue to post little reminders for next time. When #2 does come around, the posts will pick up again. This is a road that will not end until our family is complete and the last one has self weaned!
I have learned SO much and have been able to help others. My son and I have been able to bond in other ways. This was not all for nothing. I was able to get my full supply back. He has not needed formula in ages. He is happy and healthy!
I will continue to learn as much as I can. We plan to have at least one more child. So when baby #2 is born, I will keep down this road and learn from my mistakes. Things are going to be very different next time. In a way I am happy that this happened with Kenneth so that I did so much more research.
For the next one I will know the following:
~I can get help at home if I am not able to leave the house.
~No nipple shield unless my milk has come in AND nothing else is working.
~No finger feeding. I can supplement what I pump at the breast.
~SKIN-TO-SKIN all the time!
~Let the baby root and initiate the first feeding.
~Call the lactation consultant in as much as possible.
~Let the baby feed as often as he or she wants and for as long as he or she wants.
~Make sure the latch is correct.
~LLL meetings are a must.
I am sure I will come up with more to add. So this is not the end of the blog. I will continue to post little reminders for next time. When #2 does come around, the posts will pick up again. This is a road that will not end until our family is complete and the last one has self weaned!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Why?
I just don't get it. I can get him to nurse once and a while. So I know he knows how. So why on earth will he not do it every time I try. I am so angry I could cry right now. And I hate myself because I am partly angry at him. It isn't his fault though. He doesn't understand what is going on. I don't understand why it doesn't work. Breastfeeding is supposed to be a natural thing! So then why the heck isn't it that way for me. Why do I have to be the one that struggles! I just feel so cheated and sad. I feel like I am going to fail. Which just makes me think back to all of my plans that fell through and makes me blame myself. If only I had done this or that! It just isn't fair.
The breastfeeding world of mine sucks right now. All the feeling I had when he first started to reject the breast in his first month of life are coming back to me. I feel like he is rejecting me. I feel like I am not good enough. I feel like I am doing something wrong. I feel like I am torturing him by trying to breastfeed him. I know none of those things are true, but it feels that way when it is happening.
It really seems like the more effort I put forward the harder he resists. So I keep taking breaks from trying. I think now is another one of those times I am going to have to step back for a few days until I can regroup. At the same time it makes me crazy to do that. It makes me feel like a quitter even though I know I am just taking a little break for my sake and Kenneth's.
I just want to be able to breastfeed my son like all the other mothers I know do. It hurts so much knowing that I might not have that day again. And I just can't stop crying right now. Why? I just can't type anymore right now...
The breastfeeding world of mine sucks right now. All the feeling I had when he first started to reject the breast in his first month of life are coming back to me. I feel like he is rejecting me. I feel like I am not good enough. I feel like I am doing something wrong. I feel like I am torturing him by trying to breastfeed him. I know none of those things are true, but it feels that way when it is happening.
It really seems like the more effort I put forward the harder he resists. So I keep taking breaks from trying. I think now is another one of those times I am going to have to step back for a few days until I can regroup. At the same time it makes me crazy to do that. It makes me feel like a quitter even though I know I am just taking a little break for my sake and Kenneth's.
I just want to be able to breastfeed my son like all the other mothers I know do. It hurts so much knowing that I might not have that day again. And I just can't stop crying right now. Why? I just can't type anymore right now...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Help Dr. Jack Newman
It made me VERY sad when I saw the following on Dr. Jack Newman's website:
I hope you will take the time to help the man who has helped me and many others like me! Every person who I have told to contact him has had a fast reply. Please help him so that I can continue to refer other mothers in need to him. I don't want him to go away! If it were not for him I wouldn't have this blog. If it were not for him I wouldn't have a supply. If it were not for him I wouldn't be making the strides with my son that I have. Don't let it end with me. I want his clinic to stay around to help other mothers just like me. Sure I can pass on some of the information I have learned. It would just be so much better to get even more information from the expert. Without our help...he will not be able to help others.
I thank you for your consideration!
WE NEED YOUR HELP!
AS OF SEPTEMBER 30TH WE WILL NO LONGER BE RECEIVING ANY PRIVATE FUNDING.
(GOVERNMENT FUNDING CEASED IN 2005)
WE NEED IMMEDIATE DONATIONS TO KEEP OUR CLINIC OPEN.
WITHOUT FUNDING, THE NEWMAN BREASTFEEDING CLINIC & INSTITUTE AND THIS VALUABLE WEBSITE AND ALL OUR EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES WILL DISAPPEAR.
FOR A CHARITABLE TAX RECEIPT PLEASE SEND YOUR DONATION TO www.canadianbreastfeedingfoundation.org.
Please direct your donation to NEWMAN BREASTFEEDING CLINIC
Thank you for your support.
I hope you will take the time to help the man who has helped me and many others like me! Every person who I have told to contact him has had a fast reply. Please help him so that I can continue to refer other mothers in need to him. I don't want him to go away! If it were not for him I wouldn't have this blog. If it were not for him I wouldn't have a supply. If it were not for him I wouldn't be making the strides with my son that I have. Don't let it end with me. I want his clinic to stay around to help other mothers just like me. Sure I can pass on some of the information I have learned. It would just be so much better to get even more information from the expert. Without our help...he will not be able to help others.
I thank you for your consideration!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
3 AM
Kenneth seems to do better in the VERY early morning hours! He woke up around 2:30 AM and wanted his bottle. After he was finished he was acting like he was still hungry. I was leaking at the time and in desperate need of being pumped or fed of off. So I gave him the breast. He of course bites away. So I put on the nipple shield and he goes to town.
My husband interrupts this process by deciding he finally wants to go to bed. So he comes up with both the chihuahuas and there is an ambush. Kenneth starts freaking out and that was the end of the nursing session. I figure he had to have gotten 2-3 ounces! This is the best progress we have made! I think he would have nursed longer with no distractions. I look at this as another step in the right direction! It is these wins that keep me going!
My husband interrupts this process by deciding he finally wants to go to bed. So he comes up with both the chihuahuas and there is an ambush. Kenneth starts freaking out and that was the end of the nursing session. I figure he had to have gotten 2-3 ounces! This is the best progress we have made! I think he would have nursed longer with no distractions. I look at this as another step in the right direction! It is these wins that keep me going!
Monday, September 1, 2008
Please Don't Bite Me
Well, when I came home on Friday I was determined that Kenneth was going to breastfeed. So I gave him one 3.5 oz bottle of breast milk. Then we went into the bedroom and lay on the bed together. All my little stinker wanted to do was bite. Can we say OUCH! So I just kept squirting milk in his mouth. I would bing him to the breast nervously bring him to the breast every time he opened wide and hope I get him off before he bites. He got me good a few times. We did have some success! He WAS breastfeeding for a little while.
Now I just have to work on his bite. Why did he have to get them early??? If it were not for those sharp little suckers I wouldn't be so scared to try again! I would just hate for him to break the skin and put a boob on the old dusty trail!
It is all about baby steps. I still see Friday as a win...even with the bite marks!
Now I just have to work on his bite. Why did he have to get them early??? If it were not for those sharp little suckers I wouldn't be so scared to try again! I would just hate for him to break the skin and put a boob on the old dusty trail!
It is all about baby steps. I still see Friday as a win...even with the bite marks!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Watch and Learn Son!
When I went to go pick up my son yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised by what I found. When I got there he was in an exersaucer flirting with one of the moms. Guess what mom was doing – BREASTFEEDING! I was so pleased. I then went over to Kenneth and told him – in a voice loud enough for them all to hear – “Pay attention Kenneth. That is what you should be doing!”
I loved the fact that I saw another mother breastfeeding. Now granted, her 8 month old son is still a touch smaller than my almost 6 month old son. She was standing and breastfeeding with such ease. I struggled with the water works! She has issues getting her son to take a bottle. She was also very encouraging. At the same time she said he is at least getting breast milk. That is what I tell myself every time I don’t want to pump.
I have a 3 day weekend. Let us hope this is a break through weekend! I would love it if I had him breastfeeding again by his 6 month birthday on Monday! So please keep us in your thoughts this weekend. Send me all of the breastfeeding vibes you can. Let this be the weekend he finally gets it!
I loved the fact that I saw another mother breastfeeding. Now granted, her 8 month old son is still a touch smaller than my almost 6 month old son. She was standing and breastfeeding with such ease. I struggled with the water works! She has issues getting her son to take a bottle. She was also very encouraging. At the same time she said he is at least getting breast milk. That is what I tell myself every time I don’t want to pump.
I have a 3 day weekend. Let us hope this is a break through weekend! I would love it if I had him breastfeeding again by his 6 month birthday on Monday! So please keep us in your thoughts this weekend. Send me all of the breastfeeding vibes you can. Let this be the weekend he finally gets it!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Freezer Stash
I think I am going to have to start a freezer stash! WOW! Those are words I never thought I would say. It just amazes me how I have been able to get my supply back. I feel blessed. I haven't needed to make a single bottle of formula in over a week. The refrigerator is over stocked with bottles of breast milk ready to go.
As odd as it sounds I am nervous about starting a freezer stash. I am scared that I will put away to much and somehow ruin it. I know it is crazy. I am just overly protective of my milk. I had to work hard for it and the only place I want it to go is Kenneth's tummy.
On a semi side note...he hasn't gotten sick in almost 3 weeks! This is very rare for him. While he was on formula, he was sick every other week. Now if only breast milk could help with teething.
We haven't had much luck with breastfeeding. I think a lot of the problem right now is that he is teething and doesn't know what is going on. I want to get some good books and DVDs with pictures of babies breastfeeding. Maybe if he sees it he will get the hang of it faster. He is 5.5 months old now. I am not looking forward to the 6 month mark. I just don't want him to take to solids more than breast milk and mess with our future breastfeeding relationship.
I know a lot of my fears are just that...fears. But they still creep up there and get me thinking. I just wish it could be easier. But nothing in life is. I just can't give up...
As odd as it sounds I am nervous about starting a freezer stash. I am scared that I will put away to much and somehow ruin it. I know it is crazy. I am just overly protective of my milk. I had to work hard for it and the only place I want it to go is Kenneth's tummy.
On a semi side note...he hasn't gotten sick in almost 3 weeks! This is very rare for him. While he was on formula, he was sick every other week. Now if only breast milk could help with teething.
We haven't had much luck with breastfeeding. I think a lot of the problem right now is that he is teething and doesn't know what is going on. I want to get some good books and DVDs with pictures of babies breastfeeding. Maybe if he sees it he will get the hang of it faster. He is 5.5 months old now. I am not looking forward to the 6 month mark. I just don't want him to take to solids more than breast milk and mess with our future breastfeeding relationship.
I know a lot of my fears are just that...fears. But they still creep up there and get me thinking. I just wish it could be easier. But nothing in life is. I just can't give up...
Monday, August 4, 2008
STREP THROAT
My new obstacle this weekend was strep throat. I was terrified that I was going give it to my son. I was also so weak and worn down that I struggled to carry my 18 lb 12 oz baby boy around on Friday and Saturday. It felt like he was a ton! I started to feel much better on Sunday. So we were still able to enjoy our Sunday walk in the carrier. It was such a beautiful day too!
All weekend my supply has been fluctuating. I am SO close to being able to toss every trace of formula out of my house. If I could just get up to 32 – 36 oz a day I would be set and possibly have some to store for a freezer stash! A freezer stash is something I never thought I would have. Now I see it as something that could happen. I just have to get better so I can see if my being sick is why things are slowing down in the milk department.
I have been able to empty the girls lately and get anywhere from .5 – 5 oz from each side. I have also been very nice to them by applying Lansinoh to them after every session. I think it is really helping. I don’t have pain while pumping anymore. Well, maybe for a second. But my nipples were getting to the point where they were going to give out if I didn’t start doing something more. I had been applying Lansinoh to them a few times a day. Then I read the container and it said after each feeding…so I am going after each pumping.
AND my lactation consultant is going to have my try a new type of bottle nipple. She wants me to get the Munchkin triflow. I have no clue what we are going to try, but we are going to do something new. Once I have a pack of them I am to call her and she is going to come over at some point this week and work with my son and me at home. That way he will not feel out of place. I don’t care how many different types of nipples I have to buy as long as Kenneth gets back to the breast. I will be so happy when I only have to pump at work and maybe one time at night! Life will be good again! So now I have to make sure that all visible areas look presentable.
I also asked my lactation consultant about the use of breast milk after it has already been offered once. My son’s day care will toss a whole bottle of breast milk if it hasn’t been used in an hour. I understand if it is formula, but we are talking about liquid gold here people. My lactation consultant said to take it home and offer it to him again. So I am going to be asking them not to dump it. I will put an ice pack in the cooler and they can put the bottles in there. I just can’t take seeing all my hard work go down the drain! I want my son to get every drop he can! I will report on what they say.
I feel like we are on the verge of a breastfeeding breakthrough. I don’t know why…but I just feel it…
All weekend my supply has been fluctuating. I am SO close to being able to toss every trace of formula out of my house. If I could just get up to 32 – 36 oz a day I would be set and possibly have some to store for a freezer stash! A freezer stash is something I never thought I would have. Now I see it as something that could happen. I just have to get better so I can see if my being sick is why things are slowing down in the milk department.
I have been able to empty the girls lately and get anywhere from .5 – 5 oz from each side. I have also been very nice to them by applying Lansinoh to them after every session. I think it is really helping. I don’t have pain while pumping anymore. Well, maybe for a second. But my nipples were getting to the point where they were going to give out if I didn’t start doing something more. I had been applying Lansinoh to them a few times a day. Then I read the container and it said after each feeding…so I am going after each pumping.
AND my lactation consultant is going to have my try a new type of bottle nipple. She wants me to get the Munchkin triflow. I have no clue what we are going to try, but we are going to do something new. Once I have a pack of them I am to call her and she is going to come over at some point this week and work with my son and me at home. That way he will not feel out of place. I don’t care how many different types of nipples I have to buy as long as Kenneth gets back to the breast. I will be so happy when I only have to pump at work and maybe one time at night! Life will be good again! So now I have to make sure that all visible areas look presentable.
I also asked my lactation consultant about the use of breast milk after it has already been offered once. My son’s day care will toss a whole bottle of breast milk if it hasn’t been used in an hour. I understand if it is formula, but we are talking about liquid gold here people. My lactation consultant said to take it home and offer it to him again. So I am going to be asking them not to dump it. I will put an ice pack in the cooler and they can put the bottles in there. I just can’t take seeing all my hard work go down the drain! I want my son to get every drop he can! I will report on what they say.
I feel like we are on the verge of a breastfeeding breakthrough. I don’t know why…but I just feel it…
Thursday, July 31, 2008
OVERFLOW
Well, I think I may have figured out what gets my milk flowing…SLEEP! Here I am sitting at work pumping and I start to doze off. I then hear a funny noise. I look down to see the little canister overflowing onto my pants. So I turn the pump off, not knowing what else to do since I am all strapped in! I didn’t want to stop the milk flow just to get it started again. So I quickly take the storage containers off and put new ones on. I then start the pump up again to get my full 15 minutes in!
So today I made a record pumping session of at least 6 oz!!!! BUT…I now have to walk around with milk on my pants. I wonder when the smell will kick in…sigh! I wonder how the next session will go. I might try the sleeping technique again. If 6 oz. is going to be the norm, I am going to need to switch back to the Medela bottles to pump into! I just hope I don’t jinx myself and not pump this much again. I will just have to wait and see…
Updates to follow…
We will just say that the rest of the day wasn't as good. It was pretty normal. What is frustrating is that they still feel somewhat full when the 15 minutes is up. I always hand express as much as I can after...but it still feels like there is more. The one exception is when I pumped the 6 oz. They felt empty after that! UGH!
So today I made a record pumping session of at least 6 oz!!!! BUT…I now have to walk around with milk on my pants. I wonder when the smell will kick in…sigh! I wonder how the next session will go. I might try the sleeping technique again. If 6 oz. is going to be the norm, I am going to need to switch back to the Medela bottles to pump into! I just hope I don’t jinx myself and not pump this much again. I will just have to wait and see…
Updates to follow…
We will just say that the rest of the day wasn't as good. It was pretty normal. What is frustrating is that they still feel somewhat full when the 15 minutes is up. I always hand express as much as I can after...but it still feels like there is more. The one exception is when I pumped the 6 oz. They felt empty after that! UGH!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Booby Talk
Early mornings is typically when I am able to make steps forward. This morning he did what I have been calling booby talk. He latched on and maybe sucks a little. Then he talks with my breast in his mouth. His favorite is saying what sounds like mum mum mum. It is funny to listed to. The whole time I keep him happy. If he fusses I will give him a little of his bottle.
So then when we lay down to go to bed he always turns his head from side to side. This is when I have had some success as well. Sometimes, if there is boob where his mouth can get he will latch on and sometimes suck. So this morning he did the same thing. He would take the breast in his mouth and suck once or twice and then turn away.
It really is about baby steps. He isn't screaming his head off when I offer him the breast. That is a plus in my book!
So then when we lay down to go to bed he always turns his head from side to side. This is when I have had some success as well. Sometimes, if there is boob where his mouth can get he will latch on and sometimes suck. So this morning he did the same thing. He would take the breast in his mouth and suck once or twice and then turn away.
It really is about baby steps. He isn't screaming his head off when I offer him the breast. That is a plus in my book!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
HE NURSED!!!!!
Now to talk about the little success that I had on July 9, 2008 around 3:30 AM. He had about an oz. left in his 4 oz. bottle. He was being a little fidgety and so I took the bottle away. And gave him a boob. He latched on to each of them for at least a minute. Well he was off and on them. I don't know if he got anything out and I know he didn't have the greatest latch...but I didn't care. He was back at the breast. I thought I was going to cry. I held it back though. I didn't want him to think I was sad. So I talked with him and kissed his little face and head like crazy. And he didn't need the nipple shield!!!
I didn't get a picture of the happy moment. There had been times before that where he latched for a second. But this was my biggest success so far. I am able to keep that in my mind and know that it will be a daily occurrence for us and not just an every now and then event. I cannot wait until it seems like all we do is breastfeed together. I wish I could be one of those moms that can complain about how much her child wants to be at the breast. I wish I was loosing sleep to nurse him rather than the pump! I know my day will come. I just wish that day was today!
On July 12, 2008 he latched with the nipple shield. After he bit me I decided to use it to be safe. I don't want to ruin all the progress if he injures me and I have to take a break due to pain. My husband was there to watch as well. It was so nice. I told him to get the camera. He flew down the stairs and back up them. So I now have a picture to look at as a constant reminder that this can work and this will work. I am able to see what I have accomplished.
Now since then it seems like all I have done is take steps back where nursing is concerned. I can only get him to bite. He keeps rejecting my breasts. This is why I need help. I don't know what else to do. I do the skin-to-skin and offer him the breast as much as I can. There are other things too. All I know is that I am not going to give up. I love my son and I want to do what is best for both of us.
I think this catches everything up. From now on my updates will be more timely. I hope that they are all happy ones. I really want my story to be an inspiration to myself and others. I want to prove to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to and I want to show others that this is an obtainable goal. I just don't know how soon I am going to be able to prove this. Soon I hope...
I didn't get a picture of the happy moment. There had been times before that where he latched for a second. But this was my biggest success so far. I am able to keep that in my mind and know that it will be a daily occurrence for us and not just an every now and then event. I cannot wait until it seems like all we do is breastfeed together. I wish I could be one of those moms that can complain about how much her child wants to be at the breast. I wish I was loosing sleep to nurse him rather than the pump! I know my day will come. I just wish that day was today!
On July 12, 2008 he latched with the nipple shield. After he bit me I decided to use it to be safe. I don't want to ruin all the progress if he injures me and I have to take a break due to pain. My husband was there to watch as well. It was so nice. I told him to get the camera. He flew down the stairs and back up them. So I now have a picture to look at as a constant reminder that this can work and this will work. I am able to see what I have accomplished.
Now since then it seems like all I have done is take steps back where nursing is concerned. I can only get him to bite. He keeps rejecting my breasts. This is why I need help. I don't know what else to do. I do the skin-to-skin and offer him the breast as much as I can. There are other things too. All I know is that I am not going to give up. I love my son and I want to do what is best for both of us.
I think this catches everything up. From now on my updates will be more timely. I hope that they are all happy ones. I really want my story to be an inspiration to myself and others. I want to prove to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to and I want to show others that this is an obtainable goal. I just don't know how soon I am going to be able to prove this. Soon I hope...
The Good Lactation Consultant
This woman is truly amazing. She helped us as much as she could my last day in the hospital as well as my son's last day in the hospital. She took the time and sat with all of us to make sure I felt comfortable with what I was doing. She acted like I was her first priority. It made me feel like I knew what I was doing and that everything was going to be alright. I was so stressed over his weight and she made me forget. Plus the fact that he was packing the weight back on as soon as my milk came in!
She also taught the breastfeeding class I took before my son was born. She did a wonderful job. We had these plastic babies and she made sure we all positioned properly. She was very attentive and walking around the class the whole time. She wanted to make sure we all got off to the best start possible. If only she had been on call my first weekend. I am going to call her when we have baby #2 and make sure she is there to help me!
So after I went home and had problems I made the mistake of not calling her. I didn't think she would have come out to my house. I just didn't see that as an option. Thing is, she makes it an option. She wants breastfeeding to work for everyone and is willing to do what is needed to make it happen. I have learned this one the hard way.
I finally got the courage up to contact her after not saying boo for months. So on Tuesday, July 8, 2008 I sent her an e-mail letting her know what happened and what I wanted to do. She called me the next day and APOLOGIZED for not being able to call me the day before (she was off that day). She talked with me for about 10 minutes on the phone and then told me to come over there and talk to her for a while so we can make a plan.
On Wednesday, July 9, 2008 we started our plan. She said for me to switch to NUK nipples. They are the most like mothers breasts in the mouth. She said for me to pump at least 8 times a day. This weekend you are going to pump EVERY two hours. We want to get your supply up. And offer the breast to your son when he is hungry. We want to get your nipples as much stimulation as possible. On Monday, bring your son in and we will talk and plan the next week.
I continued to pump at least 8 times a day. I tried to offer him the breast every time he was hungry. All he would do is put it in his mouth and talk to it or sit there. He really didn't get it. He didn't remember that is where the food comes from. I would even express some and he would look at me like you want me to do what?
Then on Thursday...he got his first two teeth in. I thought this would wait until six months...nope! He was four months and 9 days old! So on Saturday I got him to latch on and then he bit me a few times. I switched sides and he refused. From this point forward I now have teething working against me. But I will not be given anything I can't handle. We will make it past this hurtle too!
On Monday we went in to see the lactation consultant. She talked with me about how things were going. We played with the baby and tried to get him to breastfeed. He wasn't having it he kept refusing the breast. So I got the bottle out. She showed me how to try to feed him in more of a breastfeeding position.
For the next week I was to work on skin-to-skin, taking baths with him, and use the lactation aid with the nipple shield since he wants the plastic right now. I was to fill the nipple with milk before latching him. So each time I tried it he would scream his head off and start flailing all over. It was a very frustrating week. I would sing to him, play with him, and kiss all over him to try to keep BOTH of us calm. It is really hard work. I know that it is and will continue to be. I had just thought I might get one good day! But I didn't.
I didn't get a chance to contact the lactation consultant until this past Wednesday. I wrote her to let her know how the weekend went. She is at the National Lactation Conference. She will be back on Tuesday. She told me to keep trying with just the nipple shield since my supply is going up so much. She said that she has some more things she wants to try. She is also going to tell them about my situation and see if they can give some more help. She is helping me so much. It means the world to me that she is doing all this for me and my son!
So this weekend I have tried every chance I get to get him to take the breast. It is an uphill battle. He keeps refusing the breast. He has had months of a bottle where all he needs to do is swallow and is now being asked to suck and swallow for his food. I don't know about you, but I think most people would want to do what is easiest. But I will not give up and I cannot force him or I will be back behind square one!
I need to take things slow and stay confident that Kenneth will get it soon! I really want to do this for my son and for myself. And if my story is able to help others, then that is just the icing on the cake. I do want to show that it will work. I want to be one of the mothers that says that I struggled and made it. I NEVER gave up!
She also taught the breastfeeding class I took before my son was born. She did a wonderful job. We had these plastic babies and she made sure we all positioned properly. She was very attentive and walking around the class the whole time. She wanted to make sure we all got off to the best start possible. If only she had been on call my first weekend. I am going to call her when we have baby #2 and make sure she is there to help me!
So after I went home and had problems I made the mistake of not calling her. I didn't think she would have come out to my house. I just didn't see that as an option. Thing is, she makes it an option. She wants breastfeeding to work for everyone and is willing to do what is needed to make it happen. I have learned this one the hard way.
I finally got the courage up to contact her after not saying boo for months. So on Tuesday, July 8, 2008 I sent her an e-mail letting her know what happened and what I wanted to do. She called me the next day and APOLOGIZED for not being able to call me the day before (she was off that day). She talked with me for about 10 minutes on the phone and then told me to come over there and talk to her for a while so we can make a plan.
On Wednesday, July 9, 2008 we started our plan. She said for me to switch to NUK nipples. They are the most like mothers breasts in the mouth. She said for me to pump at least 8 times a day. This weekend you are going to pump EVERY two hours. We want to get your supply up. And offer the breast to your son when he is hungry. We want to get your nipples as much stimulation as possible. On Monday, bring your son in and we will talk and plan the next week.
I continued to pump at least 8 times a day. I tried to offer him the breast every time he was hungry. All he would do is put it in his mouth and talk to it or sit there. He really didn't get it. He didn't remember that is where the food comes from. I would even express some and he would look at me like you want me to do what?
Then on Thursday...he got his first two teeth in. I thought this would wait until six months...nope! He was four months and 9 days old! So on Saturday I got him to latch on and then he bit me a few times. I switched sides and he refused. From this point forward I now have teething working against me. But I will not be given anything I can't handle. We will make it past this hurtle too!
On Monday we went in to see the lactation consultant. She talked with me about how things were going. We played with the baby and tried to get him to breastfeed. He wasn't having it he kept refusing the breast. So I got the bottle out. She showed me how to try to feed him in more of a breastfeeding position.
For the next week I was to work on skin-to-skin, taking baths with him, and use the lactation aid with the nipple shield since he wants the plastic right now. I was to fill the nipple with milk before latching him. So each time I tried it he would scream his head off and start flailing all over. It was a very frustrating week. I would sing to him, play with him, and kiss all over him to try to keep BOTH of us calm. It is really hard work. I know that it is and will continue to be. I had just thought I might get one good day! But I didn't.
I didn't get a chance to contact the lactation consultant until this past Wednesday. I wrote her to let her know how the weekend went. She is at the National Lactation Conference. She will be back on Tuesday. She told me to keep trying with just the nipple shield since my supply is going up so much. She said that she has some more things she wants to try. She is also going to tell them about my situation and see if they can give some more help. She is helping me so much. It means the world to me that she is doing all this for me and my son!
So this weekend I have tried every chance I get to get him to take the breast. It is an uphill battle. He keeps refusing the breast. He has had months of a bottle where all he needs to do is swallow and is now being asked to suck and swallow for his food. I don't know about you, but I think most people would want to do what is easiest. But I will not give up and I cannot force him or I will be back behind square one!
I need to take things slow and stay confident that Kenneth will get it soon! I really want to do this for my son and for myself. And if my story is able to help others, then that is just the icing on the cake. I do want to show that it will work. I want to be one of the mothers that says that I struggled and made it. I NEVER gave up!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Support
I was worried about this. I thought that people were going to think I was crazy to try again. I was really worried about work. When I told my supervisor what I wanted to do she was all for it. I had some issues with the first room that they offered me to pump in. So she brought it up in a meeting to get me a better place. So I now have an unused office that I use three times a day. It will be four times a day once I switch to working four 10 hour days in place of my five 8 hour days. This means that I will have one more full day to work with my son on breastfeeding. When I found out about this I was as happy as can be. The fact that my supervisor was so proud of me meant a lot. I think it means more than even she realizes.
Now there have been some negative comments. Such as when I told my co-worker that I was going to be working on my supply. He response, "you aren't trying to breastfeed again are you?" I just told her yes and left it at that. Then one of the other mothers at work, who had a baby boy too, told me not to worry about it. She has come around. She asks me how it is going every time she sees me. She had supply issues and is no longer breastfeeding. I think she made it to 6 months. But I have to realize that there are going to be negative comments and I have to let them go.
Now as far as family goes, I haven't told them all. A lot of them think it is wonderful and are on the fence at the same time. They are just worried about me. They don't want me to run myself into the ground trying. They are all just trying to be supportive in their own way...even if I don't always see it that way. But now that they see things are going so well where my supply is, they are more on board with it. But there are still the why can't you just pump comments. Can you tell it was a man that said that...one that doesn't understand the breastfeeding bond. I love my husband dearly...but he just doesn't get it sometimes. He is getting there though. He really is trying to understand what I am going through and why. And that is really all I ask.
Then there are my online friends. The support, advice, help...the list goes on is just over flowing. They really help to give me the strength I need in order to achieve my goal. I will never be able to think them enough. They are the reason I am writing this blog. They told me to tell my story so I am. I just hope that my words are able to help others the way their words help me.
So I have the majority of the help I need. This leads me to the helping hands that I need. This brings me to the good lactation consultant...
Now there have been some negative comments. Such as when I told my co-worker that I was going to be working on my supply. He response, "you aren't trying to breastfeed again are you?" I just told her yes and left it at that. Then one of the other mothers at work, who had a baby boy too, told me not to worry about it. She has come around. She asks me how it is going every time she sees me. She had supply issues and is no longer breastfeeding. I think she made it to 6 months. But I have to realize that there are going to be negative comments and I have to let them go.
Now as far as family goes, I haven't told them all. A lot of them think it is wonderful and are on the fence at the same time. They are just worried about me. They don't want me to run myself into the ground trying. They are all just trying to be supportive in their own way...even if I don't always see it that way. But now that they see things are going so well where my supply is, they are more on board with it. But there are still the why can't you just pump comments. Can you tell it was a man that said that...one that doesn't understand the breastfeeding bond. I love my husband dearly...but he just doesn't get it sometimes. He is getting there though. He really is trying to understand what I am going through and why. And that is really all I ask.
Then there are my online friends. The support, advice, help...the list goes on is just over flowing. They really help to give me the strength I need in order to achieve my goal. I will never be able to think them enough. They are the reason I am writing this blog. They told me to tell my story so I am. I just hope that my words are able to help others the way their words help me.
So I have the majority of the help I need. This leads me to the helping hands that I need. This brings me to the good lactation consultant...
Friday, July 25, 2008
Pumping
So I started to pump a few times a day to get something started. I was getting a small little drop right at the nipple. I then got some Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle to take until my medicine came in the mail. I then started to get larger drops each day at the nipple. And this was just pumping a few times a day.
Then the day my medicine came everything started to come together. It was a Saturday morning. My son and I were going to go check the mail when the mail truck stopped in front of our house. He brought a package for me to sign for. I felt like it was Christmas morning. I opened the package and started to take the Motilium that afternoon.
I had to work that weekend as well. So I pumped for the first time at work just to get the feel of it. I was making sure that I was pumping AT LEAST 8 times a day and always shooting for more. I pumped 3 times a day at work and at least 5 at home. What were my results you ask :) See for your self:
7/10/08 16.5 ml (.56 oz)
7/11/08 39.5 ml (1.34 oz)
7/12/08 52.75 ml (1.78 oz)
7/13/08 86.25 ml (2.92 oz)
7/14/08 112.75 ml (3.81 oz)
7/15/08 158.5 ml (5.36 oz)
7/16/08 186.25 ml (6.3 oz)
7/17/08 222.25 ml (7.52 oz)
7/18/08 233.75 ml (7.9 oz)
7/19/08 273 ml (9.23 oz)
7/20/08 329 ml (11.12 oz)
7/21/08 364.75 ml (12.33 oz)
7/24/08 501 ml (16.94 oz)
I didn't always keep track after that. I could take a look at the bottles I pumped into and see. But at this point I am really happy with the progress! I think I might measure some this weekend and update this post. I feel so blessed that my supply has increased so much. There are some women that do more than me and are only able to get drops.
In the morning after my longest stretch of sleep I pump 4 oz total. I love seeing the little 2.7 oz tubes fill! I now have a stash to be able to give my son nothing but breast milk this weekend. I can't even explain how happy that makes me. This is really working. Now if I could only get everyone to back me up and my son to latch...
Then the day my medicine came everything started to come together. It was a Saturday morning. My son and I were going to go check the mail when the mail truck stopped in front of our house. He brought a package for me to sign for. I felt like it was Christmas morning. I opened the package and started to take the Motilium that afternoon.
I had to work that weekend as well. So I pumped for the first time at work just to get the feel of it. I was making sure that I was pumping AT LEAST 8 times a day and always shooting for more. I pumped 3 times a day at work and at least 5 at home. What were my results you ask :) See for your self:
7/10/08 16.5 ml (.56 oz)
7/11/08 39.5 ml (1.34 oz)
7/12/08 52.75 ml (1.78 oz)
7/13/08 86.25 ml (2.92 oz)
7/14/08 112.75 ml (3.81 oz)
7/15/08 158.5 ml (5.36 oz)
7/16/08 186.25 ml (6.3 oz)
7/17/08 222.25 ml (7.52 oz)
7/18/08 233.75 ml (7.9 oz)
7/19/08 273 ml (9.23 oz)
7/20/08 329 ml (11.12 oz)
7/21/08 364.75 ml (12.33 oz)
7/24/08 501 ml (16.94 oz)
I didn't always keep track after that. I could take a look at the bottles I pumped into and see. But at this point I am really happy with the progress! I think I might measure some this weekend and update this post. I feel so blessed that my supply has increased so much. There are some women that do more than me and are only able to get drops.
In the morning after my longest stretch of sleep I pump 4 oz total. I love seeing the little 2.7 oz tubes fill! I now have a stash to be able to give my son nothing but breast milk this weekend. I can't even explain how happy that makes me. This is really working. Now if I could only get everyone to back me up and my son to latch...
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Dr. Jack Newman
A little before June 20, 2008 some friends on a board were talking about their supply. It hurt me a lot to read about how wonderful things were going for the breastfeeding mothers. I felt like it was a special club that I couldn't be a part of. I felt like I had been cheated out of my chance to be able to talk about breastfeeding my son at home, nursing in public for the first time and all the funny stories about spraying your child in the face because of your let down. But I had no happy stories to tell and no pictures to share. I would look at all the pictures and wishing I could share that bond with my son. So I asked the question: Is it possible to re-lactate. And one person in particular said yes and write Dr. Jack Newman for help! Bless her for pushing me in the right direction.
So I sent him an e-mail. In less than 24 hours I had this response:
I then looked into purchasing Domperidome (Motilium). A friend of mine had to use it as well. She gave me a link to a site she trusted. I placed my order, stopped the pill and started to pump again...
So I sent him an e-mail. In less than 24 hours I had this response:
Dear Ms. B,
Actually, you can breastfeed on the birth control pill. The problem is that it may decrease the milk supply in some women, but your supply has already gone.
I must say I would not have handled your situation as you describe. In the first place, I’m against judging breastfeeding by % weight loss, which to me is a meaningless concept. I am also against nipple shields. I think they do nothing but undermine the breastfeeding, but make it seem as if breastfeeding is working. And that’s just for starters, but it’s also in the past.
So, stop the birth control pill and start domperidone. See below and attached.
And, yes, it's possible to restart, but it is best to get good hands on help.
If the baby will take the breast, anything is possible. In that case, see the website www.drjacknewman.com (this site is temporarily not working; in the meantime, see www.gentlemothering.ca instead) and find the Protocol to increase breastmilk intake by the baby, attached, and use the video clips at the websites above to help you use the Protocol.
At the same site, find:
- When Latching
- Breast compression
- Using a lactation aid
- Cabbage leaves, herbs and lecithin
- Domperidone 1 and 2
Domperidone could be helpful in this situation, but should be used in conjunction with the Protocol, not as a "magic bullet". Contact your physician to get a prescription.
Attached to this email are the following early draft chapters from my book on the Latch.
- What is a good latch
- Not enough milk
If the baby does not take the breast, increasing the milk supply with domperidone will help the baby start taking the breast. Also, see the attached chapter on breast refusal (section on nursing strikes). This is not a nursing strike, but take the approach in this chapter on how to deal with a nursing strike. That is, take the baby into bed at night, with the baby in a diaper only and you undressed from the waist up. During the day, carry the baby around with you in a sling, with the breast available. Do not try to force the baby to take the breast. This is futile. If the baby will feed from an open cup (not a sippy cup) or a spoon or syringe, this may help.
For general breastfeeding information, see www.drjacknewman.com. (For the moment see www.gentlemothering.ca instead)
See also my book, Dr. Jack Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding (HarperCollins, 2nd revision 2005) as it's called in Canada, or The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers as it's called in the US (now out in a new edition, as of November 2006).
I now also have a new book out, published by Hale Publishing, called The Latch and other keys to Successful Breastfeeding. Ordering information is available at www.ibreastfeeding.com
We have an instructional DVD for breastfeeding called Dr. Jack Newman’s Visual Guide to Breastfeeding. For a preview and more information, see www.drjacknewman.com. Though this site is down now, you can still get the DVD by emailing dvd@drjacknewman.com.
Jack Newman, MD, FRCPC
We no longer receive government funding for our clinic and are constantly on the edge of having to close. If you value this service, please consider a donation to the Canadian Breastfeeding Foundation (registered charity) and earmark the donation for the Newman Breastfeeding Clinic and Institute. You can donate through their website http://www.canadianbreastfeedingfoundation.org/
I did take parts of the e-mail out. The information here is still really great. If you are having troubles, I suggest you write him about your situation and get a response.
After this e-mail I purchased his DVD and books. I think they are a must have for any woman who wants to have a child. I wish I had read them before. I once again do not think I would be in this situation if I had read his books.I then looked into purchasing Domperidome (Motilium). A friend of mine had to use it as well. She gave me a link to a site she trusted. I placed my order, stopped the pill and started to pump again...
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
My incision became infected
When my son was about a week and a half to two weeks I woke up to my incision oozing, red, puffy and painful. I was thinking the worst. I thought that I was going to have to go back into the hospital and that I wasn't going to be able to continue to breastfeed.
I was given more pain medicine, antibiotics, and had to be wicked twice a day. Wicking is basically stuffing the infected pocket with a gauze string to try to get it to drain. I had to do this for around 2-3 weeks. I felt so trapped. As long as I was on pain medicine I shouldn't be getting out and about. This made it imposible for me to get breastfeeding help.
My son started to reject the breast all together around 3 weeks. He would just cry and cry. I was getting tense and didn't know what to do. I wasn't getting all of the help I needed at home to make it work. I would try to pump as much as I could. But I had a crying baby to calm and pumping just couldn't happen. I was able to pump 3-4 times a day. I would finger feed my son everything I could and the rest was formula.
By four weeks he wouldn't get anywhere near my bare breast. So I gave up and gave him what I could in a bottle. I asked for help at the doctors office when I went to get my incision checked. I was told to just pump more.
So for a week more I watch my supply go to NOTHING...not even a drop. I cried so much. I felt like I had failed to give my son what he needed. I wanted to be the best mother ever and I felt like I was in line for the worst mother award. I had switched to formula. It has its place I just didn't think it was for me.
Ever since my supply went to nothing I was thinking of ways that I could correct my error. I was looking in to milk banks and such. It wasn't until I was back to work full time that I thought what about adoptive mothers. They are able to lactate, so why can't I re-lactate...
I was given more pain medicine, antibiotics, and had to be wicked twice a day. Wicking is basically stuffing the infected pocket with a gauze string to try to get it to drain. I had to do this for around 2-3 weeks. I felt so trapped. As long as I was on pain medicine I shouldn't be getting out and about. This made it imposible for me to get breastfeeding help.
My son started to reject the breast all together around 3 weeks. He would just cry and cry. I was getting tense and didn't know what to do. I wasn't getting all of the help I needed at home to make it work. I would try to pump as much as I could. But I had a crying baby to calm and pumping just couldn't happen. I was able to pump 3-4 times a day. I would finger feed my son everything I could and the rest was formula.
By four weeks he wouldn't get anywhere near my bare breast. So I gave up and gave him what I could in a bottle. I asked for help at the doctors office when I went to get my incision checked. I was told to just pump more.
So for a week more I watch my supply go to NOTHING...not even a drop. I cried so much. I felt like I had failed to give my son what he needed. I wanted to be the best mother ever and I felt like I was in line for the worst mother award. I had switched to formula. It has its place I just didn't think it was for me.
Ever since my supply went to nothing I was thinking of ways that I could correct my error. I was looking in to milk banks and such. It wasn't until I was back to work full time that I thought what about adoptive mothers. They are able to lactate, so why can't I re-lactate...
The Bad Lactation Consultant
I kept being told that a lactation consultant was going to come and see me. I didn't meet the first one until around the 24 hour mark. She came into the room. Sat with me for a few minutes while I tried to get my son to latch well. She said that she was going to get me something that would help. She gets me a nipple shield. She shows me how to use it. She sits with me for another few minutes after my son latched on to plastic and then leaves.
So here I am trusting this woman. I keep asking everyone for help. My son's weight is going down and he doesn't want to latch. He will not take the breast without the shield and I am starting to feel like a failure. I didn't have the birth I wanted and now it is feeling like breastfeeding is doomed. I am still determined to make it work. I keep being told that the lactation consultant is going to come see me. I never saw her again! And I hope I never do!
I had nurses trying to help me. Each one telling me something different. At some point one of them got me a breast pump to use to help get my milk to come in since my son didn't want anything to do with my breasts. I could tell something was wrong and no one knew what to tell me. Bless the nurses hearts...but they didn't know enough to be able to help me.
My next to last night we caved and let them finger feed him formula. They were talking about keeping him longer due to him loosing weight. All I wanted to do was breastfeed my son at home. I didn't want to be in the hospital. All he would do is cry and he wouldn't take the breast. I felt like I had no other choice but to give him formula. He didn't cry anymore and I felt at the time that I did the right thing. I didn't know that I should just keep trying to feed him and deal with the crying. I am a first time mom and I felt so lost. I needed some real help and wasn't getting it!
On my last day in the hospital (my son's next to last) a second lactation consultant comes in. She is the one that lead the breastfeeding class I had taken. She is WONDERFUL! She came in there and got things going. We couldn't get away from the breast shield though. But she worked with me for at least and hour or two. I wish she had been working that weekend. I don't think I would be writing this blog if she had been there since day one.
We had to leave our son in the hospital. It killed me. I pumped all night long every 2-3 hours. The colostrum was changing...my milk was coming in! I didn't think I could have been happier at the time. I thought this was the answer to all my problems. I had milk and so I thought everything was going to be perfect.
We got to the hospital in the morning and got to spend time with our son and I got to breastfeed him a few times with the help of the lactation consultant. He was chugging away with the nipple shield. He was happy and doing so well. I once again thought that things were going to go so well. They weighed him and let him go home with us.
We had his one week check up and he was already over his birth weight in just a few days. The pediatrician says you must be the best breast feeder or you son is or both. I felt like I was doing the right thing and that things were going to go so well and that I would be able to do just fine with the shield.
Life was perfect...
So here I am trusting this woman. I keep asking everyone for help. My son's weight is going down and he doesn't want to latch. He will not take the breast without the shield and I am starting to feel like a failure. I didn't have the birth I wanted and now it is feeling like breastfeeding is doomed. I am still determined to make it work. I keep being told that the lactation consultant is going to come see me. I never saw her again! And I hope I never do!
I had nurses trying to help me. Each one telling me something different. At some point one of them got me a breast pump to use to help get my milk to come in since my son didn't want anything to do with my breasts. I could tell something was wrong and no one knew what to tell me. Bless the nurses hearts...but they didn't know enough to be able to help me.
My next to last night we caved and let them finger feed him formula. They were talking about keeping him longer due to him loosing weight. All I wanted to do was breastfeed my son at home. I didn't want to be in the hospital. All he would do is cry and he wouldn't take the breast. I felt like I had no other choice but to give him formula. He didn't cry anymore and I felt at the time that I did the right thing. I didn't know that I should just keep trying to feed him and deal with the crying. I am a first time mom and I felt so lost. I needed some real help and wasn't getting it!
On my last day in the hospital (my son's next to last) a second lactation consultant comes in. She is the one that lead the breastfeeding class I had taken. She is WONDERFUL! She came in there and got things going. We couldn't get away from the breast shield though. But she worked with me for at least and hour or two. I wish she had been working that weekend. I don't think I would be writing this blog if she had been there since day one.
We had to leave our son in the hospital. It killed me. I pumped all night long every 2-3 hours. The colostrum was changing...my milk was coming in! I didn't think I could have been happier at the time. I thought this was the answer to all my problems. I had milk and so I thought everything was going to be perfect.
We got to the hospital in the morning and got to spend time with our son and I got to breastfeed him a few times with the help of the lactation consultant. He was chugging away with the nipple shield. He was happy and doing so well. I once again thought that things were going to go so well. They weighed him and let him go home with us.
We had his one week check up and he was already over his birth weight in just a few days. The pediatrician says you must be the best breast feeder or you son is or both. I felt like I was doing the right thing and that things were going to go so well and that I would be able to do just fine with the shield.
Life was perfect...
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Hello Baby Boy!
I had planned to have a natural birth. My son had other plans. He was a week over due and showing no real signs that he was going to make an appearance any time soon. I made it to 7 cm and would not go any further. My son was in distress and they said a cesarean was the best option.
On March 1 , 2008 my son Kenneth was born through an unplanned cesarean. The doctors thought he was going to be under 8 lbs. Well, my son was born at 9:04 AM, 9 lbs. 12 oz. and 21.5 inches long. I believe the doctors exact words were "Holy smokes," right before he had to cut me open more to get my son out.
I was able to hold him with assistance on while on the operating table for a minute. It was wonderful. I could not believe my eyes. I was a MOTHER! There was not enough room for me to breastfeed him for the first time in there. So his first feeding was put on hold until I was taken back to my room to recover.
When I held him in my arms I knew I was in love again! It was time to feed him for the first time. He latched on right away with no problem. He showed no signs of wanting to let go. I thought things were going to be so easy from that point forward. Boy was I wrong...
On March 1 , 2008 my son Kenneth was born through an unplanned cesarean. The doctors thought he was going to be under 8 lbs. Well, my son was born at 9:04 AM, 9 lbs. 12 oz. and 21.5 inches long. I believe the doctors exact words were "Holy smokes," right before he had to cut me open more to get my son out.
I was able to hold him with assistance on while on the operating table for a minute. It was wonderful. I could not believe my eyes. I was a MOTHER! There was not enough room for me to breastfeed him for the first time in there. So his first feeding was put on hold until I was taken back to my room to recover.
When I held him in my arms I knew I was in love again! It was time to feed him for the first time. He latched on right away with no problem. He showed no signs of wanting to let go. I thought things were going to be so easy from that point forward. Boy was I wrong...
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