Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Expecting #2

The journey will continue. We are expecting #2 now! We are so excited. We knew it was possible this cycle, we just didn't think it was all that likely. So now I need to make sure I educate myself as much as possible in the next 36ish weeks! I have all the books I want, I just need to find the time to read them all!

I am also going to do my best to make sure that I have a VBAC. I hope that we will be able to afford a doula. I am going to save up as much as I can and hope for the best. I want to find someone that has experience with VBACs.

We have our nurses visit on the 6th and a doctors visit for a dating ultrasound since I am not sure about the date. I think I am around 4 weeks. I am not positive though. So I am excited to find out how close my guess is based on when I think I ovulated.

Oh, it would figure that I just stocked up on mama cloth that I was going to use for the first time at the end of this cycle. Looks like I am going to have to wait a bit longer to try them out now ;)

What do I need to do:
~Plan out what books I am going to read and when.
~Look for a few doulas in the Charlottesville, VA area.
~Find out about the LLL meetings and start to go to them again.
~Find out what classes are being offered at the hospital and plan out which ones I want to go to.
~Start planning my cloth diaper stash for the new one!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

No more meds

I took my last Motilium pill today. Well, my last one for this child. I still have 200 pills that I am going to save just in case I need them for the next one. I just want to be ready. I am mixed about this though.

It is so weird to be near the end. I have been pumping for so long now. I don't know how long my supply will stay up without the pills. I am only pumping 2 times a day. So we will see what happens. I am going to shorten the time that I pump too. I just feel free to not be dependent on meds.

We are now working on our second. So it will be interesting to see when we get the positive test this time. Then I get to put into practice everything I have learned. I can't wait to give breastfeeding another shot!

Monday, October 12, 2009

I have been pumping how long?

I just looked back through my posts to see how long I had been pumping. It has been about 16 months. I also pumped for a little over the first month. It has been so long that I didn't realize that I only went around 2 months without pumping. It just amazes me that I have gone this long! It is so hard too. I am just so happy that I have been able to provide my son with breast milk for most of his life. It makes me feel like I have accomplished something when I still feel that I failed at breastfeeding.

It has made me so much stronger though in terms of any future children. I have learned so much. I get excited at the thought of being able to give my next child the best possible start. I look forward to only being a slave to my pump at work. I look forward to maybe being able to bring my next child with me until they are crawling.

We are thinking about trying for the next one in early 2010. That really still depends on Kenneth. So we will see where he is at. I really hope that he wants a little brother or sister by then ;)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

When do I Stop?

I always said that I would try to breastfeed until my child was at least 2. I wanted to let Kenneth self wean. I even wanted to try to tandem nurse. I don't even have that option now. That makes me very sad. We are most likely going to stop at two children. So unless we have a third, that will not happen. I held onto hope that maybe he would show interest again and I would be able to stop pumping. I don't think that will happen. I think there would be many people would think I would be crazy to try to nurse my almost 16 month old. And you know what, I wouldn't care. Breastfeeding is what is natural. I still feel guilty that I have to give him a bottle. I am just revealed that I am able to put what is best for him in that bottle, breast milk.

At this point I am not sure how long I want to continue to pump. I feel like I should pump until he is at least 2 years old. He still wants his bottle in the morning and at night. I am still taking Motilium and pumping three times a day for him. He is given whole milk at day care in a sippy cup. At home he is given juice in a sippy cup. He is sure to let you know what he really wants though. And most of the time when mommy is around, he wants his bottle!

I am so thankful that I am still pumping for him. When he is sick he doesn't eat much solid food. All he will do is drink. So I don't know what I would have done had I not had breast milk for him. He doesn't want much of anything else. I guess you could say it is his comfort food. So I am just elated that I didn't stop pumping a month or two ago when I felt done with it. It is just so hard to keep up with. I still have to plan things around pumping. I would be so much happier if I could just have it easy and be able to breastfeed. I just wish there was something more I could have done to make it work.

I still struggle with how long I want to continue to pump. I really don't know when I should say, enough is enough. We were originally going to start trying to conceive our second this month. We think 2 years or more would be a good split. We are thinking that we will wait until Kenneth turns 2. That will make the split closer to 3 years. I just want to continue to provide him with breast milk. Whenever I stop, we will try to conceive. So it is a struggle with me to pick between providing what I think is best for my son and choosing to build our family. I think it would be selfish of me to stop just so I can try for another child.

So at this point I am going to let Kenneth self wean from the bottle. It is the closest link I have to breastfeeding. So I am just going to go with it. I know there are a lot of people that think I am crazy to make this choice. It is my choice to make! I think it is the best choice for my son and my family. We all have to do what we think is best.